The little princess saved by her prince

on the fantasies we tell ourselves

“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” Les Brown

Maybe we all have at a certain point dreamt of being saved by someone else. Waiting for a big hero to come and take us under their wing. The thing that is missing for our projects or careers to skyrocket.

My focus here isn't on romantic fairy tales, but rather on the victim mindset we sometimes adopt. It all started with a Reddit thread. A user posted something about being in a rut and just hoping to be taken out of it by somebody else. The person needed a savior. We all had at some point. The countless similar threads online only reinforce this idea. It's easier to point the finger out and expect the fix to come from outside. After all, external events will always have an effect on us. However, how we choose to act and respond to that is solely on us.

When I was a makeup artist, at the very beginning, I thought and hoped that I'd meet a makeup artist or agency that would take care of me, take me under their wing, and propel my career. Or in my makeup school expecting that the school will give me all the contacts I needed for me to put a foot in the fashion industry… well, what can I say, none of it happened. The thing is, I was putting my career in the hands of others. And so, as life does, after a few smacks in the face and a row of disappointments, I realized that a fantasy is all that it was. No one is coming to save you. You have to do that for yourself. Yes, people will tend their hands and help, but you are your own savior. And in fact, it is better that way, right? For me, it feels deserving. You worked for that.

Since I've always been self-employed, I have to be strong in this area. Letting go of the hope that someone would discover me and launch my career has taken a burden off of me. As the years have gone by, I've realized that I may have one of the most unemployable profiles, so I push myself to build something on my own. When you're self-employed, you don't have a choice. As your own boss, you have to be the one that keeps you on your toes and hold yourself accountable. The structure and discipline comes from within. No one will force you to stay on track, and at the end of the day you have to do what you do not always want to. But hey, you have to do it anyway. Despite the challenges, the freedom and creativity that come with building something of my own make it worthwhile.

You are not a victim. Hold yourself accountable for your actions, or lack of, and decisions. The moment you assume it, you can change your life and give it a proper turnaround. Stop blaming other people if you’re not doing whatever you promised yourself. It will set you free.