Your Plan Is Holding You Back

Because life is not a script

I could have attached myself to my dream of being the next Pat McGrath... even though it no longer fulfilled me.

I could have attached to the idea of Sellium (my past business) working out…even though we had no gain, just burning money.

I could have attached myself to living in Valencia…even though the city was repelling us from doing so.

I could have attached to so many things—forcing myself to stick to the plan. But were they worth attaching to? I don't think so. There is no point in forcing yourself onto things, especially when they don't match your core values. We run different movie plots in our heads. But we play them based on scripts that are full of assumptions and rigid attachments. We set our plan and become stiff on how it has to lay out. We get mad, frustrated, and feel like the whole world is crumbling when our plans and expectations do not meet. Thankfully, our lives do not have to be a thriller movie all the time. The rush and angst of living in an imagined thriller-turned-horror (one that feels worse than reality) can be soothed by embracing life’s volatility. It’s when things don’t go according to plan that new possibilities arise. We need to let go of things to gain others.

Treat life as an experiment

Test your ideas, run your hypotheses, and see the results (without attaching to any specific outcome) with openness and embrace the uncertainty. The lab is your life. And we should approach it with curiosity, fun, and openness. We can hope for certain outcomes but without blindly attaching to a plan or result that may fog our view of things. There is freedom that comes from accepting uncertainty. It opens to a myriad of possibilities and opportunities that you might have never thought of.

Detach yourself. To your assumptions, beliefs, opinions, and expectations. Some might be deeply rooted in you, and you have to fight back. Hey, no one said this was supposed to be easy. But it is worth the pursuit.